This all happened about a week ago, when I found myself in a bit of stress as I hurried through the to do checklist of preparation for the activities that I would soon be participating in for the rest of the day.
I have this way of upsetting myself unnecessarily because I have this preconceived idea of how things should go and how they should be. I put allot of pressure on myself to get things done in this certain way, so that I, as well as others involved will have this certain experience. I think that this is less the case these days, but every now and then I have my moments that take me back to a more stressful time. Of what I recall, there were two activities that were on the itinerary for that day that caused me to get a little nervous, or, rather, it was a worry of messing them up that really upset me, and almost lead to them not happening at all. There were these two possibilities that really got my energy in a nervous maelstrom of doubt, not even a definite circumstance, mind you.
One, I was going to teach yoga that day, and to get there, I had a bit of a travel quite a ways. I had heard that the road I was going to be driving on might be backed up. “Oh my goodness! Will I be on time? Should I take another route? Will the other route actually put me beyond the traffic? Should I be moving faster?! Will I make it?!” All these questions were moving through my mind, as well as what I needed to prepare for a visit to my friends to make the second of the days events go smoothly. I needed to make sure that I brought the right snacks. I needed to make sure that they could be left out in the car, that I could carry them quickly and easily, and that they had a certain balance between salty and sweet. Even after that I still forgot the drinks! :-) And it was within that rush, that the furry of to do ness, that it happened! As I was reaching into the down stairs freezer, which has a seal that is not very airtight anymore and needs something a little extra to weigh its lid down. Namely, dead lifting weights that I had set precariously on a standing heater tipped more one way than the other closer to me, and fell right onto what was beneath. BAM!!! Smash!! Pain that seemed so great, every thing else vanished for a moment in that blow! The words that came out of my mouth were a result of my only thought on how to ease the pain, releasing the knot of unpleasant energy that had just forced its way in! There was a part of me, a scary part of me that started to surface... Then I took a breath.
This great adventure is far from over though! Now it is time to start to consider recovery! How is it that I best heal from this injury? I often think of how easy it is for a building to get burned down by a fire, and how much time and effort that it takes to build it back up. Whenever I have a spell of anger or something like this happens, I know that there is always going to be some picking up to do, some putting back together. Each situation is different, and takes its own measure of time, patience, effort, and resources to bring back to a sense of wellness. I will talk a bit about my own journey of recovery from a smashed toe next week. This week I would like to offer you my heart felt sentiment that when you do find yourself in whatever moment of difficulty that you might find yourself in, it may be minimized through a response found in grace and acceptance, rather than aggravated and exaggerated with a negative reaction. Bless you, my friend! Have a wonderful day and may health and healing always find a way! :-) Aaron