What can a simple balancing posture offer? Why would someone develop the practice of balancing in the physical sense? I offer that it has led me to a deeper understandings of the subtle way my mind and body operates under various circumstances. And I invite you to give balancing postures a try too if you do not already include them in your regular practice. Tom, Sally, and Joe are about to embark on their own journeys of discovery that all grow from their unique experiences in life and their practice of balancing in tree pose.
If you want to read Tom and Sally's stories please take a look at last week's article, Balancing Life Stories ( http://forselflove.weebly.com/blog/balancing-life-stories ).
This week we come to Joe and his journey. Joe was frustrated with himself for failing. He never gave up, but no matter how hard he tried, how angry he became at himself, he could not push himself to overcome the instability of his left foot and leg. Still stone faced, he tried Tree pose on his left once more. He raised his right foot off the floor one more time, wobbling and tipping on his left foot, falling a little to the left and to the right, but that did not matter, he would force himself to make the perfect pose! If he was not the best at this he simply could not live with himself! He had to get it right! He needed to get it right! He already felt the thin wall of perfection being pierced by the thorns of his failure. He could not let this happen! He always had to fight to stay good enough to be in that place of perfection, a burning passion and desire that vanquished all foes before him! It was not easy, it could be very exhausting, but real men never gave up! And that is the way he would win at this game of yoga too! He would need to do what he needed to do in order to find the perfect Tree pose and win!
Now he felt motivated. Winners are always motivated to succeed. He had the mindset of success! ...His imbalance showed him that he needed more though. He needed to work on his technique. Just like there was a technique to throwing the perfect pass on the football field, there had to be one for this silly yoga posture. He would not be beat! ...Now what was it that he had heard the instructor say, “Feeling the weight of the body begin to rest on the left foot and leg, gentle begin to lift the right foot off the mat, touching the toes to the mat, while keeping the heel slightly elevated.” Child's play! He had no problem doing that! But he needed to get into the full pose, the one he saw in all those perfect yoga images, the pose that his girlfriend seemed so easily to get as she smiled her yoga smile! Meanwhile he, the star athlete, the hero of the football field, was struggling to balance on his left in Tree pose! How pathetic! He almost fell down again, though he had barely started. So angry! Arg! Joe, come on! This is the same reason you throw that intersection last week.... “You have to let go of that anger, Son. It is preventing you from being a better quarter back.” Coach had said that to him, and it did not make any sense. He was just a foolish old man getting ready for retirement. He did not know anything! ...But why would he be thinking about it, if it was so worthless...
Then, something changed. His leg stopped shaking so much. A calm seemed to fall over him as he remembered the coaches words. ...What just happened? There is no way that football and yoga could have any sort of connection... Could they? ...No! It can't be! That would mean that the coach was right, my girlfriend was right, and I was wrong! The shaking returned. Then clarity revealed itself in his eyes. Humbly, he let go of the anger that had returned. His leg stopped shaking once again. And his face softened, he almost felt like crying, not tears of joy, or tears of sadness, somewhere in between. Maybe it was acceptance of what had been right before him all along, but he had been too stubborn to see.
He had been so mean to his girlfriend even though she was so nice and kind to him. He had ridiculed her love of yoga on more occasions than one... Still she had persisted in her practice, downward dog, warrior, boat pose... All those silly names. He would have never took any of it seriously if it hadn't been for her challenging him to try yoga himself and see if the star football player could was perform yoga. She had even told him that she would stop her own practice if he mastered all the poses and learned nothing about himself that would be helpful. She knew how he loved a good challenge! How he could refuse?! In grade school he had gotten in trouble many times because of a dare. He had also gotten many upset stomachs as a result of his competitive nature. And she knew that was the only way he would listen... and now he couldn't be more grateful. She had shown him, this experience of yoga has shown him something he could have never learned otherwise.
Letting go of his anger and frustration has opened up the door for success in a way that felt... somehow different, not demanding the burning drive of effort until you drop. Interestingly enough, it was quit the opposite. The more effort he applied in the balance, the harder it was to maintain. He began to lift his right foot off the ground a little more and more, then realized how much he had tired his body out. That was enough for today, I know that if I come to it with a cool head next time I will succeed. There is no need to prove it just now. He smiled a yoga smile much like his girlfriend's, and smiled wider as he thought of her, tears of joy welling up slightly. Coming back to standing Joe listened for the next instruction.
Have you ever experienced something like what Joe found out about his self? Were there times when you were hurting yourself and possibly a loved one through your own stubbornness? I know that I have been in that position before. I have been luck to have my eyes opened through experience. Those experiences were not all that different from Joe's. Something woke me up when things no longer made sense, when the way that I was doing something was not getting the result that I wanted. I think the biggest example of that is the suffering that I went through pursuing goals that really did not make me happy. No matter how much I thought I wanted them or how much I thought they should work out, they never seemed to even if I beat myself up to the point of anxiety inducing insomnia. How about you? Have you ever beat yourself up like that?
I hope that you were able to let whatever it was go, if that was the case, and, like me, learned of a better way to pursue the goal of happiness. I also hope that you enjoyed my offering for this week, my friend! It was fun to travel in Joe's shoes as I saw parts of me revealed in him! Perhaps you saw him in you too? May your week be full of opportunities to deepen your sense of happiness in loving yourself and others in whatever pursuit that fills your days, my friend! Peace, Love, and Blessings! Aaron :-)