I have not always been a very happy, very thankful person, my friend, but that changes every moment, especially when I remind myself of the good that is brought into my life when I do allow feelings of gratitude into my heart. I have been very alone, selfish, and miserable in the past, hating myself, and hating the world around me. I was in a very deep whole of self pity and despair. I never wanted to be there, but I was not sure how to get out. I could only think about how I did not have the relationships I wanted, they things I wanted, the job I wanted, list went on and on, self pity is like that. I did not feel like I was enough or there was enough at all. Then there was a point in my life were despite all my efforts, all the money I had spent, my selfish dreams and goals almost drove me to do the unthinkable. For a period of time I could not sleep, eat, think straight, and my eyes were sore from weeping. It was the kindness of my parents that saved me form the worst, their persevering hearts that showed me a better way.
How many times had a been in this position, this dark place. I was tired of the cycle. I had learned that my dream of making video games was not a kind place for me to live. I needed something different to focus myself on, something that promoted positive energy to grow in my heart. I kept trying various ways, and I would love to share the story with you if you would like, contact me, and we can talk. :-) However for “Thank You Thanksgiving! :-),” I would like to focus on where I ended up, because I believe that would be more universal and appropriate for the celebration. My current practice centers around thankfulness and appreciation, celebration, compassion, and kindness. I believe that my awareness that life is worth living, worth putting in an effort for, worth smiling and laughing about starts with my ability to be grateful. Without this feeling, I believe nothing good can begin, no family, no friends, no hobbies, no passions, no love, no joy.
First a decision must be made to take that step into gratitude, to celebrate what you enjoy about something. Give yourself permission to say yes this is good and I like this about life! This may be your cat, your car, your mom, your dad, a friend, a favorite food, hobbies, a place, a space, making something, thinking something, saying something, singing, writing, breathing, playing sports, running, walking, treasure hunting, organizing, cleaning, taking a shower, so on and so forth. Find something you like, something you experience as good, and give yourself permission to be thankful for it, and to celebrate it. Do not be afraid to share this with friends and family, do not be afraid to express what you love to others. If others do not enjoy this the way you do, remember that we are all in different places along the journey back home to Love, like the darkness I came form. Do your best to celebrate with those who will support you, and give space to those who do not.
As long as you are not harming yourself or others with what you enjoy there is not need to feel like there is a problem. I had to realize that my love of video games was a problem when my obsession was destroying myself as well as my relationships. I believe that honestly is an important part of gratefulness. We are honest because with are so very grateful! We show great appreciation for one's self and others when we are honest. In this way we might maintain a pure open heart that can express gratitude joyfully and openly, without shame or blame!
It is with a grateful and open heart that I offer this to you, my friend! May your day of Thanksgiving be filled with blessing and grace! May all living beings feel safe, loved, and appreciated this wonderful day and all others to come! I am very grateful and blessed to share this time and loving space with you, my friend! Thank you for being wonderful you! Please have a happy and safe Thanksgiving! With Gratefulness and Love, Aaron :-)